Monday, April 13, 2015

2nd Pregnancy: Week 31

Let's talk about having melt downs in public. At this point I can't decide if I am going to talk about myself or my 17 month old son. We'll see where I ramble. There is the unspoken courtesy that if your child is acting up by screaming, running around, and causing a scene that you as a parent should immediately a) reprimand your child and/or b) remove them from anyone having to witness the madness. Before having a child myself, I don't know how many times I leaned over and whispered about someone else's kid, "my father would have beat me before I acted that way. My child will never." Anyone else make pretentious statements such as these before they were actually living the situation themselves? I am pretty sure people said this about my child the other day.

It started with, well, what was supposed to be a quick errand to Target before we were to go swimming. After prying Shepherd away from the enormous red ball outside Target, I attempted to put him in the shopping cart. You would have thought that I was lowering him in to boiling lava, because as his feet were touching the seat and about to slide in to the holes for him to sit down, he curled his body up and started screaming. I attempted 3 times and finally just carried him with one arm while pushing the cart with the other towards the women's swimsuit aisle.

Again in the swimsuit isle, Shepherd's actions were equivalent to someone trying to get out of a room with walls that are closing in on you. He panicked trying to get out of the maze of nylon bikinis yelling with tears streaming down his face until he reached the tiled path outside of the clothing. He immediately stopped crying and screaming and took off through the store. I decided we could come back to the swimsuits after we picked up the other things on my list. I swooped up Shep as we passed the baby boy's clothing and snagged the first swimsuit I saw in his size and kept walking. We made it to the pool toys before I almost passed out and set him down to play with the foam balls. Carrying a child that only weighs 22-ish pounds doesn't seem like a laborious task, but I assure you at 31 weeks holding a squirmy toddler is not easy.

The next 5 minutes were a breeze. Shep played with the balls and then the packaged baby toys a couple aisles over as I picked out a baby outfit for a friend. Then, it was back to the swimsuit section for the final run, as there is no way I could squeeze my now large booty and belly in my pre-baby swimsuit. I would have liked to peruse through the hundreds of options and combinations of swimsuits Target offers for females, but to Shep, he was back in hell apparently. He started immediately screaming and began clawing his way out of the plethora of nylon, even though I had barricaded him in with the cart and my body. I ended up picking the first top that looked reasonably conservative and long enough to cover this honking belly and ran after my son who had managed to squeeze his body past some hanging swimsuits and the shopping cart.

Our next stop was Toys R Us since Target didn't have anything but hot pink puddle jumpers - no, we couldn't just buy arm blow up floaties as our gym doesn't allow us. Anyway, I got redirected three different times all back to the same section for this puddle jumper, but, alas, it was still not there!!! I am not blind. All the while Shep is overall behaving himself only because I am letting him walk around the store independently.  However, every time the man at the customer service desk would start talking to me, I would have to run off and chase Shep down. Finally, I requested that they bring the freakin' puddle jumper that Shep just HAD TO HAVE to the front. To top it all off, when I was getting to check out, Shepherd decided to grab the Mentos positioned conveniently at his eye level. He grabbed 2 rolls in each hand and started throwing them as far as possible.

Needless to say, I ended up with 3 broken rolls of Mentos in my purse and several others that weren't even salvageable that ended up in the trash. I think 5-7 were on my receipt. I seriously considered throwing my body on the ground just to see how Shep would react to my screaming, crying, and acting up, but let's get real - I have to be the adult even when I don't want to be. So in this entire day of tantrums, I took the option b) alternative and ended up just taking my son out of the public's eye of having to witness his screaming and crying. We haven't quite gotten to the reprimanding stage of "time out," "spankings," or any other means of punishment, but sometimes I seriously don't know if Shep understands my "don't do that, stop, or no," because 75% of the time he does the exact opposite.  

How far along? 31 weeks
Baby weighs the same as: 4 navel oranges
Total weight gain: 33 pounds
Waist Measurement: 39 inches
Maternity clothes?  I like wearing maternity clothes, but at this point nothing makes me feel undeniably more comfortable. 
Stretch marks? None, but I just ran out of my belly butter and am definitely going to make my own using essential oils and other natural products. 
Sleep: I have gotten up twice every night this week of pregnancy. 
Best moment this week: Josh and I attempted yoga together at the Y and needless to say yoga is just not for us. Josh couldn't get a rhythm and balance is just not his thing, and I couldn't do half of the positions. Plus we were kind of bored. I guess it is just not for everyone, but it was funny doing it together.
Movement: Movement has been ridiculous this week. If I push a limb back in, something else pokes out in a different area. 
Food cravings: Ramen noodles still.
Miss Anything? I miss letting Shep crawl all over me including my belly. I am definitely limited sometimes when it comes to wrestling with Shepherd on the ground. 
Gender: I am still thinking a little girl, but really I have no idea. 
Symptoms: No sickness this week!
Belly Button in or out? Out
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: Good when my child is not acting a fool in public. 

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