Wednesday, May 3, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 19


This week was the hardest yet. Josh went out of town for most of the week to attend a conference in Orlando, Florida. I have never felt more tired fully wearing the hat of both mommy and daddy. The one thing I missed more than anything was the 45 minutres to an hour Josh uses right after he gets off work to take the boys for a walk, to the tennis courts, or to the pong while I cook or rest. 

I had no idea how much I cherished and needed this time to myself. Despite getting as much rest as I could squeeze in at night and when the boys napped, I felt like I just "got through" the days instead of truly enjoying and experiencing them. I've never been more thankful for Josh to get home and cook his homemade pancakes that I love but haven't been able to eat since becoming pregnant with this little one. Apparently, he isn't a huge fan of daddy's cooking skills, but I'm sure he'll love them in a few years like the other boys do.

Yes, I have referred to this baby as a boy since day 1. If he is a little boy, then I will have known from the beginning, and if this little on is a girl I will be utterly shocked! Either way, I'm excited to add to our crazy crew. 


In the NICU documenting a family graduating and going home

How far along? 19 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Mango
Total weight gain: 
Waist Measurement: 
Maternity clothes? Yes, but STILL cannot find my box of pregnancy clothes.
Sleep: Better mainly because my boys have been sleeping until 7am, which NEVER happens... in their whole lives it has never consistently happened! Blessing straight from God.
Best moment this week: Having my husband and son return home!!! Oh and watching Shep on our new video monitor. I was pretty against having one......until we got one. He is HILARIOUS to watch as he basically wrestles himself to sleep.
Movement: Lots and lots this week.
Food cravings: None this week. 
Miss Anything? Nothing. I am pretty happy Josh is back in town and my boys are sleeping! 
Gender: I still think this baby is a boy, but everyone else swears its a girl.
Symptoms: Morning sickness is about every other day. 
Belly Button in or out? I still consider it "in" knowing how "out" it gets.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: Still tired and sluggish, but I've been more motivated with my new vacuum! Such a mom thing to say...

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 18


At the surrogate birth I attended this week. You can see my bump if you look past the scrubs swallowing me.


How far along? 18 weeks
Baby is the size of a: green bell pepper
Total weight gain: 10 pounds. I finally weighed myself at my prenatal appointment!
Waist Measurement: 34 inches
Maternity clothes? Still mainly yoga pants, pregnancy pants, and a size up in regular jeans, but I still can't find my box of maternity clothes.
Stretch marks? Not yet! 
Sleep: Sleep has been good, but I can't wait for Josh to get back because I haven't felt rested all week!
Best moment this week: Getting to spend time with Salem and the Silvey family, hearing this sweet baby's heartbeat, AND document a beautiful surrogate birth story! 
Prenatal update: Baby's heart beat was around 160 BPM. My blood pressure was great and everything checked out. What I am most excited about this week is my birth pool! I bought a birth pool and the kit to go with it. Plus I got my birth supplies and preparation list for my home birth. So excited!
Movement: Yes. Lots of kicks right to the girth! 
Food cravings: Nothing, in particular, this week.
Miss Anything? Just the motivation to work out. I have zero energy and when I have a little bit of energy I use it to play with my boys and edit a gazillion pictures.
Gender: I think it is a boy!
Symptoms: Occasional morning sickness here and there, but my main symptom is low energy.
Belly Button in or out? Mainly in, but it is starting to flatten out.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: Good now that I am off-call now for a few weeks. Time to rest up and spend some time with my family!

Monday, April 17, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 17

I have got to tell you about my 17th week of pregnancy. I already have low energy in the first trimester, but it hasn't been much better in my second trimester either. Every time I get the call and head to a birth, I use all the adrenaline and birthy endorphins to power through each birth story. Last Thursday I enjoyed a hospital birth and went back the next day to document their baby 24 hours new. Saturday morning I visited another family the day after they had their baby to do another Fresh48 session. While at that session, I got a text from two different moms saying they were in labor. One was planning on having a home birth and the other a birth center birth in Midland. They both slowly progressed all day, and I couldn't tell which one I was going to end up going to first. My back-up photographer was ready to go at any point. I ended up going to the homebirth first and staying almost 30 minutes after she had her baby until I got the text that the other mama had made it to Midland, two hours away, and her water broke. 

Without taking a minute to really think about anything, I jetted out of that birth and drove to Midland. I got there at 2:30am. Her water breaking was really pee and they were all settling down trying to rest. I slept 3.5 hours at my mom's house before heading over to the birth center at 6:30am. 

Around 10am I recieved a text message asking about my friend, Jessica. She didn't make it to church, which is a big deal when you are leading worship on Easter morning. I didn't think much of it until I recieved multiple texts about how Jessica wasn't answering her phone, her car wasn't home, etc... All of a sudden our entire Aldersgate community and the rest of Jessica's friends and family started a serious search to find her. After checking her apartment, the house she was house sitting at, and asking all the people we could think of that may have been at the wedding she attended the night before no one could even find a lead as to where she might be. I felt helpless not being able to physically search for her and emotionally a wreck worrying about the possibilities of what could have happened to her. Finally, she was found several hours later (her story could fill an entire blog post itself). Her disappearance plus my lack of sleep was an interesting recipe for my emotional state. 

All day my client labored beautifully with her husband and doula by her side. I documented, napped, cried about Jessica, documented, ate, napped, cried when they found Jessica, and documented some more. Finally at 9:30am we headed to the hospital. It was clear that my client wasn't able to progress past 5cm. With 2 previous cesareans, we were all cautious of the risks trying for a natural labor. We went when she and baby weren't in distress, but mama was exhausted.

Long story short, my client ended up with a c-section. With her c-section they had complications with cutting her bladder and needing to call in a specialist. She ended up not coming out of the OR until around 3am. I stayed until around 3:30am taking pictures of her older kids meeting their new sister, but I didn't crawl in bed until around 4:30am.

I slept until 8:30am and got up with Sarah, the doula, to head back to Midland. My body was coasting that first day, but the next day I was completely useless. This was by far the hardest week of my pregnancy due to the physical and emotional impact on me. And you know I loved every second of it...except the missing Jessica part. Not that. But everything else was amazing!



Homebirth selfie!

How far along? 17 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Onion
Total weight gain: Honestly I have no idea! I haven't really weighed myself this pregnancy

Waist Measurement: 33 inches 
Maternity clothes? Yes - mainly just pants. I need to bust out my maternity clothes from my other two boys, but I have no idea where I've stored that box after moving from Kentucky.
Stretch marks? None so far.
Sleep: Sleep has been scarce, but that is mainly from attending so many births this week! 
Best moment this week: Getting to witness such different births this week from hospital birth to home birth to birth center transfer to cesarean.
Movement: Not really any movement, but Kelli, the midwife in Midland, measured baby's heartbeat. HIS heartbeat was 155-160 RPM. I'm pretty sure it is a boy.
Food cravings: Nothing, in particular, this week - just eating enough to survive this crazy schedule! 
Miss Anything? Just rebounding after I miss a lot of sleep. I used to be fine after getting up at 3am, but this preggy body feels it for days afterwards.
Gender: We won't find out again this time around, but I have a strong feeling this babe is a boy. #momofboys
Symptoms: Still morning sickness every morning.
Belly Button in or out? In still
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: Exhausted, but loving my job!

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 16

This week was especially interesting. I knew I'd have a lot of births coming up, so of course, my body decides to shut down. I start to get the sinus congestion, cough, and eventually a sore throat and mucus overload. The day that I thought I was starting to recover, I was still extremely exhausted. I almost didn't make it through our Thursday night small group. In fact, I think I nodded off a few times. I went to bed right at 10:30pm, and I got a phone call at 11pm from a client saying she was at the hospital checking into a room at 6cm. 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE BIRTH. I love witnessing everything about it but on that particular night, something beyond my own will-power must have helped pry me out of bed.
Baby was born around 1:15am, and I stayed there until 3:30am. I finally crawled into bed after a shameful Whataburger run. I slept 5.5 hours, but the next day I felt equivalent to freshly poured tar being steamrolled over and over until there is no more give in it.

I am curious to know if I would have felt exactly the same way not being pregnant and repeating that entire timeline over again. On-call life isn't always easy or glamorous. It is sometimes really inconvenient, but it is glorious nonetheless. I've done 2 more births since then, and I am waiting for 2 more mamas to call me! So here's to my continual birth-room selfies!

This is my reality. Only taking selfies at births, because that's the only time I have to take pictures of myself!

How far along? 16 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Avocado
Total weight gain: I really need to replace the batteries in my scale!

Waist Measurement: 33 inches...not sure how I got smaller other than the fact that I have been bloating to elephant-size at night. In the morning, I am tremendously smaller. 
Maternity clothes? I've been wearing a few pants, but they are actually a little big. I'm considering hot washing them to shrink them a bit, but I'm sure I would regret that in a few weeks. 
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: I've actually gotten lots of sleep this week. Well, after getting only 30 minutes last Thursday due to be calling to a birth. I went to bed at 6:30pm and then 8pm the next night. Even though I've had plenty of sleep, the quality has been great. I've woken up with headaches each morning, which is no fun.
Best moment this week: Witnessing a birth! It still never gets old. Even at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Movement: I haven't felt any movement this week.
Food cravings: I still have the biggest urge to eat Thai food. I've been resisting my favorite restaurant, Thai Pepper and eating, not so healthy, 10 cents Ramen noodles with egg. Bless. But it is saving us a fortune.
Miss Anything? I am really just missing my energy level. With low energy, I haven't had much ambition to blog, take any pictures, or pursue anything beyond the bare minimum in my business.
Gender: We still don't know.
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: I've still had morning sickness, but mainly the headaches have been torture. I've had a sinus cold all week, so that's not fun. There isn't much I can do to shake up the mucus and my throat doesn't seem to get any better, but I know slowly but surely I'm getting better. 
Belly Button in or out? Still in.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: Exhausted

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 15

Today, I am officially 15 weeks, and I woke up with vivid dreams about having a breech baby. That seems like no big deal, but I am pretty stubborn. In my dream, I went against hospital policy and refused an epidural for a vaginal breech delivery, but I did consent to the OR. So there I am squatting beside the operating table to get in the optimal position with everyone in the room tense because I am not abiding by their rules to lay on my back on the table with an epidural. It was an out of body experience watching myself work to relax and focus in while everyone surrounded me with sterile gowns and masks and nothing but the cold hard floor beneath my bare feet. I wouldn't dread having a breech birth, but I would dread having a breech birth in Lubbock because of the protocols the doctors have to follow.

I would be a living nightmare to the L&D nurses as well as any doctor delivering my baby may it be a normal vaginal birth or a breech birth. I have way too many opinions to fit into the west Texas norm I have come to realize, and I'd be signing every waiver there is, I'm sure.

It comes as no surprise that I am planning a home birth. I have wanted one for a long time, but I just never felt at peace in Kentucky when I lived 50 minutes from the nearest hospital. The timing is just right so that Salem will be my midwife. Salem has known me for over half my life, and I attribute my love of natural birth from her. I distinctly remember her asking me and a friend to leave her house my junior year of high school because her labor was starting to pick up with her 3rd son. She was also planning a home birth at the time.

Since then Salem has become a midwife and moved back from the Philippines to Amarillo. Although she doesn't typically serve Lubbock, I am honored that she is taking me on!



How far along? 15 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Red apple
Total weight gain: I haven't weighed myself this week.

Waist Measurement: 34 inches
Maternity clothes? Some pants but no shirts yet.
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Last night I kept waking myself either from bad dreams, to use the restroom, or to clear my congested nose!  
Best moment this week: 
Movement: No movement this week.
Food cravings: Thai Yellow Curry still. It's bad. 
Miss Anything? Nothing this week. 
Gender: Still a surprise (:
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Same. Nausea, vomiting, and fatigue. 
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: 
Cranky. It is probably from the lack of sleep.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 14

Josh took these between Caleb's outfit changes at his senior session



How far along? 14 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Large lemon!
Total weight gain: I'm not positive, but I'd say around 8-9 pounds

Waist Measurement: 33 inches
Maternity clothes? I've been wearing a few maternity pants my mom and I snagged this week, but mainly just wearing all things stretchy, large, and comfortable.
Stretch marks? None yet.
Sleep: Sleep has been the constant...up throughout the night CONSTANTLY.
Best moment this week: Getting to spend some time with Caleb taking his senior pictures! 
Movement: Yes! I felt the baby move a couple times this week!
Food cravings: THAI YELLOW CURRY ALL DAY! This is funny to me because I never order anything but Pad Thai from Thai Pepper, but I ordered some curry two different days this week. Josh is done with me eating out. 
Miss Anything? Just solid sleep at this point. Plus not being able to pick up my boys is more of a nuisance than anything. Side note - my midwife doesn't want me picking up the boys right now due to my subchorionic hemorrhage. 
Gender: Still a surprise (:
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Nausea, vomiting, and fatigue. 
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: I've been tired but overall actually a little LESS tired than previous weeks, so that's a win. 
Looking forward to: My follow-up appointment next week!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 13

How far along? 13 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Peach
Total weight gain:  8 pounds
Waist Measurement: 33inches 
Maternity clothes? Yes mainly because I needed some shorts in this crazy Texan heat! 
Stretch marks? Not yet. I did finally buy some lotion though. I have bought or used any since we moved back in May. I've just dealt with the dry skin with coconut oil.
Sleep: Sleep is still in and out because of using the restroom. Poor Josh has been stuffy and congested for weeks so he banned himself to the couch so I don't poke him so much during the night because of his snoring. 

Best moment this week: Getting to spend some time with just me and my mom. It doesn't happen very often and I always cherish it.  
Movement: I felt a little flutter once, but I still wasn't positive it was the baby!

Food cravings: Nothing really this week. I've just gotten sick a few times after eating yogurt or eggs. It is always breakfast foods. I should have tallied how many jalapeƱo kolaches I have ordered in the past 13 weeks. It is out of control. 
Miss Anything? I miss picking up my boys. The weight of holding Shepherd is heavy but comforting and I haven't picked him up all week.
Symptoms: Morning sickness every single morning, head aches, and fatigue. 
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood? A little stressed, but overall ok. 
Looking forward to: I am looking forward to my doctor visit next week. He will be our doctor if I need him to transfer for the homebirth. He is also our pediatrician and family practitioner. He is known as a mid-husband because he acts so much like a midwife.  

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 12

Anyone remember my scare during my pregnancy with Judah? This one. The one where I bled, cried, freaked out, and everything turned out okay? Well I experienced the EXACT same thing. I started bleeding, I cried, freaking, but I still am unsure of how this is all going to turn out. The different between this subchorionic hemorrhage and the one I had with Judah is substantially different. Although we didn't get the measurements of this subchorionic hemorrhage, the report said this one measured as a "large subchorionic hemorrhage," and last pregnancy was reported as a small one. 

subchorionic hemorrhage can cause pre-term labor or miscarriage, but it is also common for mamas to still carry baby to term and have no problems. I just have to rest, not pick up the boys or anything heavy, rest, and avoid standing for long periods of time, which is not easy when you work in the birth space! 



How far along? 12 weeks 
Baby is the size of a: plum
Total weight gain:  8 pounds (yikes)
Waist Measurement: 32 inches
Maternity clothes? Not yet!
Stretch marks? None yet.
Sleep: I am already waking up 3ish times a night to use the restroom!!! Pelvic rocks have not been helping, but I'd rather be hydrated than dehydrated, sick, but sleeping through the night. 
Best moment this week: Seeing baby 3.0 move in the ultrasound. It was a huge relief to see HIM (I think it is a boy) bouncing around.
Movement: None yet!
Food cravings: I am really just having aversions in the morning. 
Miss Anything? I miss feeling energetic and having a "lets-get-this-done" attitude. Right now, I am more having a I-don't-want-to-do-anything attitude. 
Symptoms: Morning sickness and nausea hit me every morning, but it subsides by the afternoon. I am still extremely tired.  
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood? EXHAUSTED!
Looking forward to: My birthday! We are having dinner with my in-laws, a game night with some good friends, and my mom is coming in for some good food and shopping this weekend.  

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

3rd Pregnancy: Week 11

Well, it is only appropriate that I start up my blog again 9 months after my last entry! I am, after all, 11 weeks pregnant, and that is when I started my weekly update with the last two pregnancies. I can already anticipate not being able to document this babe as well as Judah and certainly not as well as Shepherd. THIRD CHILD. So I am apologizing from the very beginning to you, little one. Here is the video I used to tell Josh we were expecting. Read on to hear the back story of this baby's coming to be (PG-13 promise!)





Josh and I had talked and planned for several months to conceive, if possible, during January to have a baby mid-Fall of 2017. But moving from Kentucky to Texas, it has proven hard to find a good pediatrician. Either they weren't taking our insurance or they were full and not taking on new patients. When I told Josh I was having the same trouble finding an OBGYN, Josh wasn't surprised at all. We needed an OBGYN to take out my IUD before trying for baby 3.0. Christmas came around, and we spent a week in Denver the week afterward. I promised once we got back to Texas I would be vigilant about finding someone to remove the IUD. I "called" 3 OBGYNs every couple of days and I couldn't find anyone. Or at least that is what I led Josh to believe. 

Let me back up now that you know at this point I was actively lying to my husband. The first time I found out I was pregnant, I pulled my husband on to the porch of our neighbor's house and shoved a pee stick in his face with two double lines. Then the second time I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to make it a special experience for Josh, but he ruined it! He guessed almost immediately! So this time I was determined to completely shock him! Thus, the build-up of the there-is-no-way-she-is-pregnant nonsense. So fun! (It was NOT easy keeping this secret from him for only 2 weeks!)

Fast forward and January was almost over. Josh was pretty disappointed we didn't get to try for a baby in January. What he didn't know was I had already taken my IUD out myself (that is the PG 13 part and not so much G-rated) in late December! I sat Josh down with the boys the day Josh and I were leaving to go camping. He was confused as to why I needed to show him a family video right before taking Shep to school, but he quickly realized why! Needless to say, he was completely surprised and so excited!


Real life messiness in our living room

How far along? 
11 weeks

Baby is the size of a: lime
Total weight gain:  My scale's batteries are dead and honestly I don't even want to know!
Waist Measurement: 31.5 inches (I thought I was huge, but that's only .5 inches bigger than last pregnancy at this week!)
Maternity clothes? I have moved up a pant size, but luckily I have a whole set of pants that are a size up. No maternity clothes yet.
Stretch marks? None so far.
Sleep: I haven't been sleeping at all. I've taken Melatonin a few times, with my care provider's approval, but I haven't seen much difference. Either I wake up to use the restroom or I wake up for no reason. 
Best moment this week: This week has been hard with everyone run down, but the best moment this week has just been snuggling my boys and Josh. I've got a few extra naps, and that is always a bonus. 
Movement: I haven't felt anything yet. 
Food cravings: Spicy food is BACK! I didn't want spicy food at all last pregnancy, but all I wanted during my first pregnancy was sauteed jalepeƱos. I have a newfound love of Tabasco sauce on Chick Fil A's chicken minis. I've also had some serious aversions, but it just in the morning mainly. I almost can't eat at all first off, but having an empty stomach is what makes me so sick!
Miss Anything? I wish I would have gotten into shape before this pregnancy like I did with the last two. I am SO weak. This little strength I did have is gone.
Symptoms: Pretty severe morning sickness. I am over that. SO over it. I've occasionally felt sickness throughout the day too. Extreme fatigue and occasional muscle spasms.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood? Run down and tired. Very unmotivated to cook, clean, or do extracurricular activities. I go to bed around 8-9pm every night after putting the boys to bed!
Looking forward to: This weekend celebrating my sister-in-law, brother, and my NEPHEW!!! I love saying that. I am going to have a NEPHEW!