Today, I am officially 15 weeks, and I woke up with vivid dreams about having a breech baby. That seems like no big deal, but I am pretty stubborn. In my dream, I went against hospital policy and refused an epidural for a vaginal breech delivery, but I did consent to the OR. So there I am squatting beside the operating table to get in the optimal position with everyone in the room tense because I am not abiding by their rules to lay on my back on the table with an epidural. It was an out of body experience watching myself work to relax and focus in while everyone surrounded me with sterile gowns and masks and nothing but the cold hard floor beneath my bare feet. I wouldn't dread having a breech birth, but I would dread having a breech birth in Lubbock because of the protocols the doctors have to follow.
I would be a living nightmare to the L&D nurses as well as any doctor delivering my baby may it be a normal vaginal birth or a breech birth. I have way too many opinions to fit into the west Texas norm I have come to realize, and I'd be signing every waiver there is, I'm sure.
It comes as no surprise that I am planning a home birth. I have wanted one for a long time, but I just never felt at peace in Kentucky when I lived 50 minutes from the nearest hospital. The timing is just right so that Salem will be my midwife. Salem has known me for over half my life, and I attribute my love of natural birth from her. I distinctly remember her asking me and a friend to leave her house my junior year of high school because her labor was starting to pick up with her 3rd son. She was also planning a home birth at the time.
Since then Salem has become a midwife and moved back from the Philippines to Amarillo. Although she doesn't typically serve Lubbock, I am honored that she is taking me on!
How far along? 15 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Red apple
Total weight gain: I haven't weighed myself this week.
Waist Measurement: 34 inches
Maternity clothes? Some pants but no shirts yet.
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Last night I kept waking myself either from bad dreams, to use the restroom, or to clear my congested nose!
Best moment this week:
Movement: No movement this week.
Food cravings: Thai Yellow Curry still. It's bad.
Miss Anything? Nothing this week.
Gender: Still a surprise (:
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Same. Nausea, vomiting, and fatigue.
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood?: Cranky. It is probably from the lack of sleep.